Christmas Crackers are a form of cracker than can only be eaten on Christmas day and all previous "twelve days of gifting" otherwise they rot, come to life and eat you alive. They are featured in Granny Grizel's Candid Cookbook. It is described as having "a rather nutty scent and tasting slightly of gunpowder and paper." It goes well with Elfalfa Stew and Earnaby's Famous "Cute Kitten" Brand Pate.


  • Five wild sconeberries.
  • A 250-mg of gunpowder.
  • One crepe-paper hat.
  • One tacky joke/poem.
  • One plastic toy(optional).
  • Five Litres of Milk.
  • A pinch of Thyme.


  • First you put your Milk in a bowl.
  • Slowly pour the Gunpowder into the Milk(It is important that it happens in this order).
  • Add Paper Hat and Tacky Joke/Poem to the mix.
  • At this point you may add the Plastic Toy, if you want.
  • Now you mix the Milk, Gunpowder, Paper Hat and Joke/Poem together with a pinch of Thyme.
  • Then you crush the sconeberrys into the mixture and stir until air bubbles begin to appear.
  • Once the bubbles begin to appear pour the mixture into a cracker shaped tray and put in oven.
  • Set oven to over 9000 degrees Celsius and leave it to bake for 10 Minutes.
  • After the ten minutes are up take the tray out of the oven and prepare to serve.