Conservation status
Data Defficient
Scientific classification
Kingdom Unknown
Phylum Unknown
Class Unknown
Order Unknown
Family Unknown
Genus Keba
Species K. kebus
General statistics
Mean Height Unknown
Mean Weight Unknown
Mean Edibility 0/10
Mean Danger 10/10

Kebabs are one of the most dangerous creatures in Fungology (probably). Even glancing at them kills instantly. There are many different theories as to how Kebabs kill, the leading one being the Ugliness Theorem.

Kebab-Related TheoriesEdit

Ugliness Theorem Edit

The Ugliness Theorem is the leading theory on Kebabs unique appearance. It states that Kebabs are so ugly, the brain cannot comprehend it and vital neural circuitry is fried, resulting in immediate brain-death. However, it has been challenged by the evidence that the brain circuits in victims are intact.

Fungology Physics Field Stipulation Edit

This theory states that dying after looking at a Kebab is just something that happens. Fungologian Physics Fields create this as an unavoidable law of Fungologian Physics.

Psychological Deficiency Creation Mechanism Edit

This theory argues that Kebabs do not really exist, and are just the human mind's answer to random, inexplicable deaths. This is the most likely idea, and as such is ridiculed and discredited.

Use In AssassinationEdit

Kebabs are one of the most efficient assassination tools, as they kill on site and leave no trace. However, their unique properties often leave the would-be killer dead, and so several companies have worked on devices that transport Kebabs to their target location. It is understood that the Gang Of Five are in possession of several Kebabs.

As Pets Edit

The Kebab, when stored in a cardboard box, makes an ideal pet for boring little boys and girls. It has the handy double purpose of being a useful threat, and, in larger families, discouraging curiosity- the first child to open the box dies, teaching their siblings a valuable lesson.